Meet Geoff who is carer for his Dad, John
For many families, caring for an ageing parent does not begin with a clear decision. It happens slowly. Many adult children start to step in and help out where they are needed but over time, responsibilities grow.
That was Geoff’s experience.
When caring for an elderly parent becomes too much
The gradual shift from family member to caregiver
Geoff never really had a moment where he decided he was going to become his dad’s carer. At first, it was the small things. Helping out a bit more around the house. Keeping an eye on appointments. Making sure everything was running as it should. Then life shifted.
His mum passed away, and not long after, his dad John was diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, Geoff wasn’t just helping out. He was a full-time carer.
“I've been caring for him since his diagnosis but particularly in the last 18 months, it was nearly 24/7,” Geoff explains. “The only time I was having a break was just to go out to grab something.”
For a while, that felt like what you do. You step in and keep things going. You don’t really question it.
But over time, something started to feel different. The days were full, the responsibility was constant and there was always something that needed doing.
And slowly, the role of son started to blur into something else.
Signs you may need extra support
For many adult children, the shift is subtle. Some common signs include:
- Feeling constantly responsible
- Struggling to keep up with the home
- Having little time for yourself
- Worrying when you are not there
These are the moments many people push through.
Why families often wait too long
There is often a quiet belief that you should be able to manage. That asking for help can wait. That bringing someone in might change things too much. But what families often find is that the right support gives them permission to be family members again, not just caregivers.
For Geoff, it was not about one big decision. It was a growing awareness that some tasks were becoming harder to manage alone, both physically and emotionally.
Realising you don’t have to do it alone
When you can no longer care for elderly parent
When Geoff began looking into support, he started where many families do.
“I got hold of the council who put me onto My Aged Care.” It all changed from there.
Starting the conversation as a family
One of the biggest concerns for families is how these conversations will go.
But for Geoff and his dad, it felt natural.
“It wasn’t awkward or difficult. We had the discussion. Then to get that extra help was fantastic,” explains Geoff.
What changes when support comes in
The everyday pressure starts to lift
Once support was in place, the difference showed up in small ways at first.
Cleaning was taken care of. The garden was maintained. Physiotherapy became part of John’s routine.
For Geoff, it felt easier to relax and let go of some of the responsibility he had been carrying.
Support that feels personal
What stood out was not just the help, but the people.
“Our cleaner, she's fantastic, she's absolutely fantastic,” Geoff says. “She goes far and beyond. Does the extra mile.”
“Sometimes we have a little bit of a joke. It's really good.”
“The gardener is the same and physio, she's also fantastic. We're happy right across the board.”
Familiarity was built by having the same care and health professionals show up each time, and a sense that the support wasn’t just about getting things done, but about knowing who was coming into their home.
Choosing the right home care provider
What Geoff looked for
When researching providers, Geoff focused on:
- Positive reviews and testimonials
- Range of services available
- Reliability and consistency
What stood out about Five Good Friends was not just the range of support, but how it was delivered. There was thought behind who came into the home, consistency, and a sense that relationships mattered.
From caregiver back to family member
Reclaiming quality time together
After his major cancer surgery and radiation therapy, John needed support to rebuild his strength. But rather than Geoff doing everything, getting the right support in place allowed them both to focus on what mattered most: their relationship.
"It gives us more time together," explains Geoff.
Instead of worrying about cleaning gutters or the house, he and John can spend their time on projects they both enjoy.
Trips to pick up supplies for projects around the house. Time spent planning small improvements. Getting out of the house together.
“We've got a pathway we're planning to put down the side of the house, so we like to head to Bunnings together,” Geoff says with a smile.
The return of everyday moments
John, despite his challenges, maintains his independence in meaningful ways. He still does his physiotherapy exercises daily, tends to the garden, and enjoys their weekly drives together.
"Every week we go for a good hour, 40 kilometres or so," John says. "Just to keep myself in contact with what's going on."
Those routines matter. They bring structure to the day and keep a sense of normalcy. As a result, something deeper shifted. John’s outlook improved significantly. He became more engaged, more active, and more like himself again.
“It's funny to watch your 90-year-old father do physiotherapy and see how, by doing that daily, it's really changed his mindset,” Geoff says. “Immediately after the operation everything wasn't as positive, but now it's really helped him.”
The technology that keeps everything connected
Using technology to stay organised
Simple tools helped Geoff manage John’s care more easily, including:
- Appointment tracking
- Easy communication with coordinators
- Alerts for health and safety
Geoff describes the Five Good Friends app as:
"Really easy, really, really easy," Geoff says. "It's got a calendar with all the different appointments and the different care providers or coordinators, so if we need to ask any questions, we've got all their information there."
"When there's extreme heat coming, they make sure my dad is hydrated and stays inside."
One of the biggest surprises for Geoff was how easy everything is to organise. Setting everything up initially, doesn't take very long at all. It only takes a day or two.
When you can no longer care for an elderly parent alone, in-home support helps families feel like families again
Advice for other families
For adult children navigating elderly care at home, Geoff's advice is clear: "Look at the opportunities for support and try to look for things that would be genuinely beneficial to improve your parents' lives."
The benefits extend far beyond practical help. "The positive flow-on from that would be, the better quality of life, the happier they are and the more time you've got to spend with them, or they've got to enjoy their hobbies," explains Geoff.
Living well at home
Today, John continues to live semi-independently in the house where Geoff grew up. "His recovery has been a lot better because he's at home. I think that wouldn't have happened if he had been anywhere else," says Geoff.
The cleaning, gardening, and physiotherapy are handled by experts, freeing up Geoff and John to focus on their relationship and shared projects.
When asked to describe Five Good Friends, Geoff doesn't hesitate: "Extremely helpful, great customer service, exceptional services, friendly staff. Very good communication. And all round, going the extra mile to help wherever they can."
Most importantly, "We couldn't be happier with the help we get and the people that come in. That's genuine. They're always friendly, always helpful!"
For families facing similar decisions, Geoff’s message is clear: getting help not only improves your parents’ life. It also means getting your relationship back.
If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, exploring support early can make all the difference.
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