Meet Lourdes and her Mum, Carmen
“We are so proud of Mum,” says Lourdes, and the love in the room is unmistakable.
At 90 years young, Carmen radiates the kind of infectious positivity that comes from living well, surrounded by family, in the home she has loved for more than 50 years. Her story offers something many adult children search for when they’re wondering how to talk to parents about home care. The reassurance that planning ahead can protect what matters most.
Carmen’s home tells the story of a woman who values routine and connection. Plants are lovingly tended in the garden. The smell of homemade biscuits drifts through the kitchen. Crocheted blankets rest over the arm of her recliner.
“I love it because I always have something to do,” Carmen says. Living at home allows her to keep the rhythms that define her days which includes caring for her cats, baking for grandchildren, tending her garden, and crocheting gifts for her loved ones.
Every Tuesday, she reads Maltese poetry on air. Wednesdays are for her women’s group. And no matter the season, she cheers passionately for the Western Bulldogs.
Behind Carmen's contentment lies a story of thoughtful planning and a daughter who understood that getting the right home care support was about protecting her Mum’s independence.
Choosing action over worry
As the eldest daughter and family decision-maker, Lourdes had been watching her parents age with growing concern. Like many adult children, she worried about whether she could provide enough support on her own.
Lourdes explains that she had a friend who was caring intensively for her parents. “I worried whether I could give my parents the same level of care.”
That concern increased when Carmen needed two knee replacements within 12 months. Lourdes moved in with Carmen during her recovery, but a social worker asked her to consider what support Carmen had at home, and what would happen when Lourdes returned to her own life.
For Lourdes, this was the moment she realised that planning home care early wasn’t about giving something up. It was about protecting her mother’s independence, and her own peace of mind.
How the conversation about home care really started
Not long after, Lourdes attended a talk about in-home support services with Five Good Friends. For the first time, the idea of home care for elderly parents felt manageable, even reassuring.
“That was a real, huge relief because I knew straight away after learning how Five Good Friends works, that this is exactly what we need. I'm going to be able to get the right support for my mum,” says Lourdes.
Why the right home care support made all the difference
What drew Lourdes to Five Good Friends wasn't just the services, but how they approach care. During the initial consultation, the Five Good Friends Nurse, Liz, spent nearly two hours with Carmen and Lourdes.
"Not only did she clearly explain how government funding and the fees work, she asked my mother a lot of questions about her health and what my mother's goals were."
Lourdes understood this was a genuine conversation about what Carmen wanted from her life.
“I knew it was right because Five Good Friends asked my mother what her goals were, and her goals were their goals," Lourdes reflects.
This alignment matters to families who want a home care provider who listens and understands.
Five Good Friends also gave Lourdes permission to take time with the decision. "They told me that I was about to make a big decision and to discuss it with my family. Liz gave me her mobile number and said if I've got any questions or any questions arise from someone in the family, to please ring her."
Personal care that supports independence
What strikes Lourdes about Five Good Friends is how personal it feels. When Lourdes calls her care team, they know immediately who she is and why she's calling.
"They say, Oh, hi, Lourdes, you're ringing about your mum, Carmen. It feels very personal and I’ve never had to leave a message”.
The most effective support services for aging parents at home don't replace routines, they protect them. Carmen's experience shows exactly how this works in practice.
The support has grown thoughtfully around Carmen's needs, including:
- Reviewing the house with an occupational therapist.
- Installing new taps throughout the house.
- Adding security lights so Carmen doesn't have to navigate stairs in the dark.
- Fitting grab rails where needed.
- Providing a recliner measured specifically for Carmen's height.
"There is also a lot of care taken with the little things that make mum comfortable,” Lourdes adds.
During extreme weather, Lourdes receives text messages checking on Carmen's wellbeing.
"I think what's very important too, when we've had this very hot weather, I'll get a text message from Five Good Friends, reminding me to check on your Mum, she might need extra water, keep her inside." For Lourdes, these messages represent something deeper than weather alerts. "There is that constant reassurance that they are always thinking of the people they care for. That makes me feel really good," she explains.
Carmen appreciates the consistency and quality of care. "Yes. It's very good because what I need, they always give me. They are very good. Sometimes they even ring me to see if I need something extra."
More time for the things that matter most
With the right support in place, Carmen gained something priceless: time and energy for the things she loves.
“I think it’s given Mum, my sister and me peace of mind,” Lourdes says. “Those hard chores aren’t a worry anymore, so Mum can take things easy.”
One of the biggest benefits of planning home care early is protecting what matters most. For Carmen this means continuing to enjoy her hobbies, bake for grandchildren and create happy memories in the home where multiple generations have grown up.
Planning ahead for peace of mind
Lourdes is naturally a planner. She knows that waiting lists are long and circumstances can change quickly.
“Two years can go by very quickly,” she says. “And just one fall can change your parent's life.”
By planning early, the family created options. Lourdes and her sister can travel, knowing support is in place if Carmen needs help getting to appointments or doing her shopping.
"We know that if I'm on holiday or my sister's on a holiday and we're both away together, we don't have to worry. We can organise through Five Good Friends for someone to take Mum to her medical appointment or to shopping or whatever is needed."
For many families, this is the unspoken relief that comes with early planning.
Trust that goes both ways
Every decision about Carmen’s care is discussed and approved before action is taken.
“They don’t just spend from Mum’s budget,” Lourdes explains. “They always check with me first and wait for my approval.”
This approach to Carmen's care and understanding of her goals and preferences has built deep confidence and trust.
“I trust Five Good Friends with my mother’s care,” Lourdes says simply.
Living well at home
Carmen's story is ultimately about choice and dignity. At 90, she remains engaged with life, connected to her community, and central to her family. The support she receives enhances rather than diminishes her independence.
When asked what planning home care early really means, Lourdes doesn’t hesitate:
“Peace of mind.”
That peace of mind has allowed Carmen to keep being herself: the woman who loves sports more than movies, who still tends her garden, who creates beautiful crocheted pieces, and who remains the heart of a family that clearly adores her.
For adult children wondering how to talk to parents about home care, Carmen and Lourdes offer both permission and a roadmap. Planning early creates options, builds relationships, and ensures that when support is needed, it feels natural rather than imposed.
As Carmen puts it, with her trademark optimism:
“You cannot have anything better than that.”
Ready to start the conversation about home care for a loved one? Our Care Advisors are here to answer your questions.
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